It’s that time of year again. As courteous shoppers, we are inevitably confronted with the person to whom all rules of strip mall etiquette do not apply. These line-halting, box opening, price-complaining, and socially unaware mavens of the marketplace are out in force right now, but what kind of a “tag” do we hang on them? Price check!
1st place: Mallcontents (Darryl F., UK)
2nd place: Cart Hog-grapher (Richard L., San Diego, CA)
3rd place: Cou-pawns (anonymous)
Honorable mentions: Resident Carter (pilotfish, NJ)
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Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year, unless you’re a turkey. Occasionally one of those holiday icons will slip the surly bonds of grandma’s rotisserie—until next year anyway. So how do we refer to these “grate-escapists?” Warm it over in your mind and shoot us, uhmmm…, send us your entry.
1st place: Freekey(Dunn M., Oakland, CA)
2nd place: Phan-Tom (pl8speaker)
3rd place: Poulfree (Carla C., FL)
Honorable mentions: Poultrygeist (Evelyn C., Wichita, KS); Tom Call-ins (t-swifter, CO); Scoffowls (anonymous)
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Texting? The word “text” is a noun, and the phrase “I texted him” sounds just plain stupid and clumsy. Shirley, we can do better than this.
Now’s your chance to say “I said it first!” So what shall we call it?
1st place: Feemail (dunderbot, San Diego, CA)
2nd place: Weemail (Jennifer, Baltimore, MD)
3rd place: Thumbmail (waverider, Auckland, NZ)
Honorable mention: Phexting (as in phone texting—Will, Valley Center, KS)
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We can all identify with this one. You’re about to send an email that is overpopulated with references to the attached image or document, and you’re overjoyed with how well you’ve assembled the entire missive.
Then you send it. Then you realize you forgot to attach the relative file.
So what do we call this relatively recent phenomenon?
1st place: Mailnutrition (Chris C., Wichita, KS)
2nd place: Filefaux pas (verbalherb, U.K.)
3rd place: Dettachments (Andy B., Toronto)
Honorable mention: ADD – Attachment Deficit Disorder (Chris C., Wichita, KS)
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You grab your groceries, pocket your keys, and head for the larder, but your car still has something to say! Tink, tunk, donk, whatever. So, what exactly do we call those noises? Time to put on your thinking hubcap.
1st place: Carcophony (Emily S., Charlotte, VT)
2nd place: Cartunes (Michelle D., Wichita, KS)
3rd place: Nash Rumblers (Andy B., Toronto)
Honorable mention: Toyotahhs (Brian H., Louisville, KY)
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We’ve just witnessed (if you’re a baseball fan of any kind) a recent smattering of this particular type of batter; the one that keeps backing in and out of the box, adjusting his batting glove (for the 28th time), checking his grip, bla, bla, bla. So what do we call this kind of baseball player?
1st place: Maybe Ruth (Brad G., Minneapolis, MN)
2nd place: A Lumbercheck (Margaret K., Salina, KS)
3rd place: The ump’s ire (Todd T., Seattle, WA)
Honorable mention: Pro Crastinator (Eva M., Santa Fe, NM)
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