Category Archives: Uncategorized

Porcelain Unplugged

The pervasive holiday mug—purchased by us in a spirit of unbridled holiday procurement—does its annual job, but sits empty and forlorn the rest of the year. Owing to its themed appearance, this perfectly useful object is shelved for all but … Continue reading

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Presents of Mind

Isn’t it nice to receive presents? Especially when those “thoughts of giving” are encased in 9 miles of decorated paper, 42 square feet of cardboard and bubble wrap, and 18 pounds of tissue. The actual gift (we’ll tackle this subject … Continue reading

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Flakes of a Feather

Most scientists will tell you that no two snowflakes are identical. We say HOGWASH! The only reason for their skepticism is that no one has ever come up with a name for these rare but delightful hexagonal twins. So (knowing … Continue reading

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Primetime Wasteland

Oh no! This can’t be happening! You testosterone-filled “keepers of the clicker” know exactly what we’re talking about here. Every now and then you’ll begin your fevered search for something better, only to be bested by 185+ channels… of COMMERCIALS!! … Continue reading

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The Line in Winter

It’s that time of year again. As courteous shoppers, we are inevitably confronted with the person to whom all rules of strip mall etiquette do not apply. These line-halting, box opening, price-complaining, and socially unaware mavens of the marketplace are … Continue reading

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The One That Got Away

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year, unless you’re a turkey. Occasionally one of those holiday icons will slip the surly bonds of grandma’s rotisserie—until next year anyway. So how do we refer to these “grate-escapists?” Warm it over in … Continue reading

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Deep in the Heart of Texting

Texting? The word “text” is a noun, and the phrase “I texted him” sounds just plain stupid and clumsy. Shirley, we can do better than this. Now’s your chance to say “I said it first!” So what shall we call … Continue reading

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Attach attack

We can all identify with this one. You’re about to send an email that is overpopulated with references to the attached image or document, and you’re overjoyed with how well you’ve assembled the entire missive.Then you send it. Then you … Continue reading

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Car Talk (not the radio show)

You grab your groceries, pocket your keys, and head for the larder, but your car still has something to say! Tink, tunk, donk, whatever. So, what exactly do we call those noises? Time to put on your thinking hubcap.1st place: … Continue reading

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Batter up?

We’ve just witnessed (if you’re a baseball fan of any kind) a recent smattering of this particular type of batter; the one that keeps backing in and out of the box, adjusting his batting glove (for the 28th time), checking … Continue reading

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